MORE HUMOR

And now, a few more humorous items that were recently heard over Chester County's police and fire radio...

From Coatesville, a police officer was getting ready to go on a park & walk assignment near a liquor licensee where an occasional problem or two (or three or four) have been known to break out:

"Put me out on a park and walk at the Elks Club, playing zookeeper."

Meanwhile, in the southern part of the county, an officer on patrol seemed to have a failure to communicate with County for some odd reason:

Officer: "I couldn't copy you. Did you say something about Oxford?"
Chester: "Repeat your last, you were unreadable."
Officer: "I guess we're both having the same problem."

Um, duh...

From the fire side, a small fire in Phoenixville elicited the following request from Fire Radio:

Chester: "Command, you're at the 15 minute mark; your pleasure on relocates and fire marshals?"
Command: "Uh, no."
Chester: "Okay on ... no."

Not that the humor out of Phoenixville is limited to the fire side. An assault call to East Vincent provided the following size-up on the patient's condition:

"MICU 167, okay on your response. You've got one there who needs a dentist."

And, finally, from the Irony in Advertising department, Uwchlan Ambulance units recieved this ironically accurate size-up following an MVA involving a motorcycle:

"Medic 87, okay (on your response). You've got a real smart one there. Motorcyclist down, no helmet, now reported unconcsious."

What can I say... I'm bored.

OVERHEARD...

Earlier this week, units responded to the report of a suspicious vehicle in the central part of East Bradford. While details were sketchy about why the vehicle was suspicious, the description of the vehicle was that it was a smaller white vehicle with "flames" along the sides, leading to this somewhat humorous exchange (and we're paraphrasing here):

Police Desk: "Was there any visible smoke coming from the vehicle?"
Officer: "I did inquire about that, and it was negative."

And then there was the officer who recently responded to Church and Gay for the report of a an unknown type fire. Upon arrival, the officer (I can't recall whom off the top of my head), reported a fully involved ... sock. Yes, a sock. Oddly enough, the fire department wasn't dispatched for this particular assignment.

However, this has to rank as one of the funniest lines that I've heard over WCPD radio. On a suspicious activity call in the township last summer, P/O Carl McIntyre reported that two subjects who were reported to police as suspicious (I don't quite recall how that caller came to such a conclusion, but anyway) were simply watching a meteor shower. When P/O McIntyre relayed the information to the desk, all the dispatcher could as was:

"Was it pretty?"

Such humor is not just limited to the desk. One night, during an slow Sunday night/Monday morning tour, an officer from 5 Squad offered his fellow officers this interesting suggestion to pass the boredom of a slow tour:

"Anyone want to go down to the rail yard and pretend to be a choo-choo?"

The weird and bizarre over the public safety airwaves aren't just limited to WCPD...

Last year, Caln PD responded to a family-related disturbance in the township:

Police Radio: "Be advised that the 14-year-old female isn't too fond of the police."
Caln Officer: "Well, I'm not too fond of 14-year-olds with an attitude."
Police Radio: "Well, you two should get along just fine, then."

Take this gem overheard early this morning on a routine call involving one of the EMS squads in the northern part of the county:

Fire Board: "Ambulance xx-x, are you responding? I have you as "AOR" (available on radio).
Ambulance xx-x: "We wish, but we're on the way."

Then, there's this size-up from Fire Board to one of the Main Line EMS squads in regards to a possible emotional disorder call:

"There's a lot of into there (on the rig's MDT) and we don't know why you were dispatched."

On a routine transport call, one of the rigs from Phoenixville's West End EMS recently let the cat out of the bag in regards to the status of a particular county hospital:

MICU 67-x: "Phoenixville Shock Trauma, Pediatric Unit, and Burn Center".

Of course, Phoenixville Hospital is neither of the above (though they may have a pediatric care unit for all I know).

Then, a few nights ago, it was a case of deja vu:

MICU 67-x: "Phoenixville Shock Trauma."
Phoenixville ER: "Sorry, wrong number."

And, finally, a couple of my all time personal favorites, courtesy of the Coatesville City Bureau of Fire (hey, that's what it say on their trucks). On a fire alarm call at an apartment complex, the officer reported that the cause of the alarm was a smoke detector was that somehow activated despite essentially having been thrown out with the rest of the trash. Fire Board's response:

"Okay on the dumpster smoke detector."

Now, I'm sure Coatesville has some pretty weird laws and ordinances - the most notable of which is that virtually all governmental functions must be performed in secret - but that one takes the cake. I had no idea that the City of Coatesville required smoke detectors to be installed in all dumpsters within city limits.

Just this past summer, the CBF responded to a vehicle fire, which was promptly knocked down. Command then requested a police response:

Fire Board: "Is there a problem out there?"
Command: "Affirmative, Chester, this vehicle appears to be stolen."
Fire Board: "Yup, that's a problem."